TAGALOG JOKES Nanaman!!

Apo : lo kumain naman po kayo kahit dalawang kutsara lang man


Lolo : ah hindi ko nga kaya n kumain ng kanin kutsara pa kaya dalawa pa..


wahahah..LOL
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(Teacher at Student nag-uusap)


Student: Sir, kamusta na po ang grades ko?
...
Teacher: Kagaya ng hair mo.


Student: Maganda? Salamat po.


Teacher: Hindi, Bagsak na bagsak..

wahahah..XD!
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wala


kabang PERA???


madali


lng yan !!!


just txt


PENGE <space> amount


at i-send xa


number ng NANAY mo !!!


hehehehe :))))))
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kung may MAHAL KA ..
.
care ko ?! 


Buti sana kung AKO yun, matutuwa pa ko xD


hahaha! weh? XD

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CHEESY QUOTES

BF: Alam mo ba yung iba't ibang view?
GF: Yup! Frontview, sideview, rearview, topview..
hmmm meron pa ba?
BF: Meron pa!
LAVIEW :"> ♥♥
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Ya Ye Yi Yo Yu
Ya -- sosyal na yes
Ye -- lasing na yes
Yi -- bisayang Yes
Yo -- hiphop na yes
Yu -- taong mahal ko :"> ♥♥♥
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Ang KAIBIGAN ay isang makahulugang salita dahil…
Paano ang -IBIGAN? Kung wala KA-? ♥♥
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Sana "i love you" na lang pangalan ko,
para sa tuwing tinatawag mo ako kinikilig ako :D
ayee!
-sweetcorn ♥
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TAGALOG JOKES ULIT!!

(Magkatext silang dalawa)
B: Gusto mo labas tayong dalawa sa sunday?
G: (Nahihiya) sige ikaw bahala
(Nagpunta sila sa park)
B: matagal ko nang gustong sbihin to ehh.
G: (Kinikilig )
B: anong pangalan mo? xD
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ISANG PROBINSYANO NAG RENT NG ROOM SA HOTEL
probinsyano : alam ko probinsyano lng ako kaya wag mo akong lokohin!
bakit ganito room ko ?
MALIIT!! walang kama at bintana!!
mahal na mahal binayad ko tapos ganito lng ?
ROOMBOY: sir, nasa elevator pa lng po tayo..
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Isang araw may nangingisda sa parke ang isang
probinsyanong si Juan... Nakita sxa ng guard..
Guard: hoi!!! Bawal mamingwit dyan...
Hindi mo ba nakikitaat nababsa? ''NO FISHING ALLOWED''
Juan: grabe ka naman... Nililiguan ko lang naman ang uod ko eh.
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ANAK: Itays! kains nas pos taus!!!
TATAY: Tigilan m nga kalalagay ng S sa mga cnsbi mo!!!
anu b ulam?
ANAK: Inigang na Bangu n my Kamati at Ibuya.....
mmm.....
Arap ng Abaw!!!
hehehehehe
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lolo:apo mag tago ka nandyan ang teacher mo dba sab mo aabsent ka
apo: HALA!! ikaw den lolo ..
lolo: bakit naman apo ..??
apo: kac sabi ko "PATAY " ka na ee kaya ko aabsent ..

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Ang pitong katotohanan sa mundo.
1. Mata mo lng ang hindi mo kayang sabunan.
2. Hindi mo kayang bilangin ang buhok mo.
3. Bakit mahirap huminga habang nakalabas ang dila.
4. Sinubukan ng mga uto-uto ang number 3.
5. Naisip mong nagmukha ka lang aso noong sinubukan mo.
6. Mapapangiti ka kasi nauto kita.
7. Ipapasa mo sa iba para lang makabawi ka.
"LOVERBOY"
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TAGALOG JOKES

Girl: Alam mo, para kang Toilet pag na Eebs na ako
Boy: Sama mo naman!
Girl: Kasi it is what I am feeling... I am falling for you...
Boy: Pero para din akong laging naiihi pag kasama kita.
Girl: ha?
Boy: Kinikilig pagkatapos...
piskut.. estoryahe..
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commercial MOna
Boy: Mahal na mahal kita. Lahat ng kaya ko ibibigay ko.
Handa ako mamatay para sa'yo.
Girl : SAMPLE ! SAMPLE ! SAMPLE ! Showtime
haha tagam pakamatay na ! ahaha
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Sabi ng baklang naka miniskirt:
“Di baleng makita ang legs,
huwag lng ang eggs!” :)
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buLag at duLing magsusuntukan!
buLag: hay0p ka
duLing! Lumabas ka dyan,wag kang mgtago sa diLim!
duLing: in ur
dreams! bkt aq lalaBas eh daLawa kau!
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Boy: Miss, para kang energy drink
Girl: Sus, luma na yan. Kasi lumalakas ka pag kasama ako no?
Boy: Hinde miss.
Girl: Eh ano?
Boy: Mukha ka kasing COBRA
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Password kaba?
kasi ang hirap mong kalimutan!!
Pero
PWEDE KITANG PALITAN!
estoryahe
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TAGALOG JOKES

Bus pinasok ng mga masasamang people...
Pepz: rape 2 mag hubad lahat....!....
GRO: Wag cla aku nlang..'
lola sumingit..
Lola :.hoooh..! Epal., lahat nga daw eh....
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Kpag pinipilit ka ng teacher mo na umamin sa kasalanan mo,
e2 dpt mong sabihin,
"No person shall be compelled to be a witness against himself."
-PHILIPPINE C0NSTITUTI0N-
Article III,
Secti0n 17. Right Against Self- Incriminati0n
Safe k n, n0sebleed pa cla,
Hahahah. .
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"no0ng una palang kitang nkita CRUSH na aq syo"
"hindi CRUSH ng eroplano kundi CRUSH ng puso"
"Hindi puso ng saging kundi puso ng tao"
"kung kaligayahan mo kaligayahan ko rin"
"kung kalungkutan mo kalungkutan ko rin"
"kung mamatay qa ikaw lang mag-isa hindi"
"ako sasama sa iyo ikaw lang mag-isa"
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Si Pedro nakabasag ng vase sa museum.
Attendant: hala, more than 500 years na iyang vase.
Pedro: hay salamat, kinabahan naman ako, akala ko bago.
ngekkkkk
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Translated in Tagalog..
2 am
manong: ihhatid kta sa klesa don sa ika 7 bndok, pro my 1
condsyn. sa bwat utot ng kbayo mg s*x tau!
madre: ah gnon ba? mhrap ata yn. pro
cge nalng wla namn akong maggwa
1st bndok ang kabyo ay umutot
manong: o. nrinig mo yun
madre: oo nrinig ko. d ako bngi
3rd bndok
manong: o narnig mo ulit yun
madre: uu namn xempre. d nga ako bngi
sa 7 bndok
madre: hoy mnong! wg kang p2log2x dyan. Umutot d mo narnig
manong: naku po! (pgod na ako. wla na akng mailalbas. suko na)
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ESTORYAHE QUOTES

ang gasolina, bigas, pamasahe, tuition fee,
isda, karne, gulay .. lahat nagmamahalan !!!!
TAYO NA LANG ANG HINDI .. 
estoryahe..
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BOY: Pila na ka KARAT miss?!
GIRL: ang unsa mn?!
BOY: imo ngipon. mahalon na noh?!...
GIRL: pag churr dha oe...
BOY: yellow mn gd kaayo murag GOLD!.
...Hahahahaha! ngisi pa oi
estoryahe...
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guy: miss, kinahanglan naa kay salbabida
girl: ha? ngano diay?
guy: basin malumos ka sa akong gugma....
Estoryahe..
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"boy sige ug sunod2x sa girl......"
Girl: hoooy na unsa man sige man jud kag sunod 
sunod naku? nganu man ka?
Boy: aahy... ni sunod raman kos akong mama... 
ana man siya... "follow your dream". 
eeeestooooryaaaaaheeee....
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Girl at Guy nag istorya:
Girl: mura jud kag kandila.
Guy: maganahan man sad ta ana oie. nganu man kai nag 
dala kog kahayagon sa imong kinabuhi?
Girl: dili. kai gwapo man gud ka tan.awun sa ngit-ngit!
Estoryahe..
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2nd day! SA WAKAS TAPOS NA EXAM!

weee.!! second day medyo mahirap lagot ako.. tapos ng isang exam review sa next exam.. hayyyy..... mga 10:00 A.m. Gala gala na kami Una sa Mcdo kasama si Junel At Wilhelm. Tas punta kami sa Idojo Laro kami at nakita namin sila Arvin, Rl, Renz,  Maui, Nico...
Si renz kala ko puro aral lang un pala marunong rin maglaro ng computer.. hehe...
Nakita pa namin ung dati naming ka school mate na si Tropa Aleo.. Haha. galing galing sumayaw.. Pagkatapos Punta ulit mcdo kain fries at inom ng coke float. Pinuntahan namin sila jath, audrielle, shane, kiana, geri, josil, Alyssa, Junelyn, at ung iba pa nilang kasama hehe.. mga 1:40 na ng hapon un. saya saya!!.. race kami ni maui eh, pagod agad ako taba ko kasi eh.. sana sasusunod meron ulit!!

1st Day

1st day ng EXAM!! MEdyo Madali Mahirap sa ICT.. LOL.. hehe..
Sana naman Mataas score namin!!.. Mag rereview nanaman para bukas!
Tapos Tapos na EXAM!!!... GALA GALA nanaman.. saya Kaso baka Mahirap mga Exams Bukas lalo na sa Socs stud nahihirapan ako.. :)

GOOD LUCK NALANG BUKAS!! ;)

Periodical!

2 DAYS NALANG PERIODICAL NA!!!! REVIEW NANAMAN!! DADAMI NIREREVIEW NAKAKALIMUTAN LANG ANTOK PA AKO.. NU ba un!!!! sana may masagot ako hehe...

...

PC CARE AND SAFETY PROCEDURES FOR USERS

How to take care of your PC.
1.Computer need a good working temperature to work properly. They need to be placed in a cool and dry place. You can maintain good temperature with an electric fan or air conditioning.

2. All the cables and connectors must be tied together to keep them away from walkways to avoid accident.

3. Refrain from eating in front of a computer. Food bits attract insects like ants and cockroaches that can penetrate the hardware and cause computer malfunction. Spilled drinks, on the other hand, might cause short circuits.

4. Always use an AVR (Automatic Voltage Regulators) to regulate the electricity. Too much electric voltage might cause the unit to short. Also, turn off computers during lightning as these can cause electrical surges to the computer.

5. Do not bump or drop the computer peripherals or components as any damage may cause them to malfunction.

6. Avoid clutter around your computer. Use soft cloth in cleaning your computer to avoid scratches.

7. Always scan for computer viruses. Internet connection and external storage devices often carry viruses that could damage files and cause software malfunctions.

USER’S HEALTH RISKS AND PREVENTION

                PC’s are said to be “user-friendly” but this doesn’t mean using them does not have health risks. There isn’t a conclusive evidence that computers emit enough radiation to harm us. Rather, the damage to health may include eyestrain, wrist injury, and pains in the head, shoulder, back, and neck due to prolonged use of computers.

Good Working Habits

ü  Tap on the keys and mouse buttons gently

ü  Avoid long, uninterrupted periods of typing. You may take a short stretch breaks every 20 minutes.

ü  Avoid staring at the monitor for long periods. Take vision breaks and do eye exercises.

Proper Workstation Design

ü  Position in a well- ventilated, comfortable room.

ü  Use an adjustable workstation and an ergonomic computer chair.

ü  Place the monitor 16 to 24 inches away, at eye level or slightly at a lower angle. Tilt the monitor or adjust the light source. Adjust the brightness and contrast settings.

ü  Use extendable/retractable legs of the keyboards.

ü  Place mouse where it is easily accessible by your dominant hand.

ü  Use a document holder to minimize vertical head movements.

Proper Posture

ü  Sit up straight and put the feet flat on the floor. Use a footrest if needed.

ü  Position your lower arms parallel with the floor and level to your keyboard, with elbows at your side.

VIRUS

V - Very
I - Important
R - Resource
U - Under 
S - Siege

and

V - Vital
I - Information
R - Resources
U - Under 
S - Siege

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Friday na bukas!!!!!!!! tapos saturday nanaman!! Tas monday!!... :)) nu kaya gagawin ko???